Tuesday, July 21, 2015

The silver lining list

Today has been tough, really tough. With Mia's strep diagnosis, the resulting lack of sleep, and two other little people who both seem to be in an unusually needy phase, I am fried. Tired... impatient... empty. On days like this it is easy for me to feel like I am failing all around. I yelled at Olivia at nap- FAIL! My kitchen is dirty- FAIL! I didn't read scripture today- FAIL! But somewhere in the waaaaaay back of my mind (or on the background of my phone) are the simple words of Christ: "My grace is sufficient for you" (2 Cor. 12:9). His power is made perfect in my weakness. I am forgiven. I am loved. Jesus fills in the gaps where I fail.
Even with these truths in mind, it takes a lot of effort to be mindful of His presence and to praise and thank Him for ALL of it... the good and the bad. I certainly can't say I am running toward Him with open arms screaming, "Thank you for the opportunity to take up this cross!" but here are a few things that I am thankful for today.

1) Amoxicillin! This $4 bottle of scientific genius should relieve Mia's discomfort and diminish her contagiousness in 24 hours. Thank you Modern Medicine.
2) TV. I admit I have probably overused this prop today, but the effects of too many hours of screen time cannot be as bad as the damage I might do without it. #sanitysaver

3) "Baby Adim"! Though his recent motto seems to be "Nurse to sleep or don't sleep at all," I am cherishing every minute of his sweet smelling snuggles. Nursing this guy are the few times that I actually breathe; I sit in my chair and take deep inhales of the cool, dark, quiet air, and it brings a little bit of peace to my disquieted mind.
Other Notables:
-Caleb's step mom who took my rooster:thirty phone call and went to the pharmacy to pick up some children's Advil
-Layla who immediately Googled and schooled me on how to deal with the after effects of washing a disposable diaper
-A verbal child that could tell me, "My throat hurts." She mentioned it in passing, and I relayed it to the nurse with equal casualty. The diagnosis was in the details.
-Green tea! I love coffee, but I really have to limit my intake because me + too much caffeine = anxiety and pit stains. Green tea gets me through these long days without the bipolar effects of coffee.