Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Well this is awkward...

After 6-ish months of unexplained absenteeism, I have been encouraged by a best friend and a sister to blog a little life update, so here goes.

I suppose first to explain the blogging truancy: winter sucked and I was depressed, and sulking/whining just ain't my virtual style. And then there was the whole "get busy living or get busy blogging; I choose 'A'" decision. After ignoring kids, husband, personal needs for screen staring, I closed the computer, read books, and took naps instead. I probably did a good deal more laundry too. Now moving on.

We're pregnant! Hip-hip-hooray!

We have been open to pregnancy forever and by December I was really freaking out that it wouldn't happen soonish/on my time table/immediately. It took 11 months with Mia and 5 months with Olivia, so what's my deal? Well basically I'm surrounded by really flippin fertile people and I read blogs about other really flippin fertile people, and at one point I was actually the only person in my friend group with a child over 6 months old who wasn't expecting, so... baa-baa black sheep. It can be a little isolating to be the only one who has to "try". And try and try. Thank goodness for my sister-in-law who is with me in camp try, try again. But I prayed a lot.

In early March, Layla and I went on a retreat in Alabama, and oh, poor girl! She is/was expecting and had to listen to me moan and groan about my non-pregnancy for a constant 50 hours. But of course, she was wonderful and reassuring and decidedly un-obnoxious about her pregnancy. And the retreat was amazing too! The topic was "With Mary at Calvary", and we had an incredible priest from a seminary in St. Louis. Not to mention 2 whole days and nights sans chil'ens and a couple contemplative Masses... It was all very recharging both physically and spiritually.

Especially post-retreat I was really focusing on accepting God's will. I mean, Mary quietly submitted to the Father's will to send her son to the cross for the salvation of mankind, and she walked with him every step of the way. *So yeah, I can pipe down about getting pregnant.* But a couple weeks later at the end of March, we got our BFP! I had 4 "peaks" and 3 cycles, so... we're getting faster each time!

Oh my godness, this has by FAAAAAR been my worst pregnancy, and I was not expecting it at all! I felt pretty good with the girls, so I figured this one would be the same. But no. Weeks 6-11 I could barely get off the couch. I didn't actually get sick very much, but I was so nauseated, had terrible stomach pains, and literally zero energy. Mentally it was hard too because I felt like I couldn't take care of my family. For awhile I was convinced this would be our last baby because I didn't want to neglect my family like that again. Ever. Now, at 14 weeks, I'm feeling better. I'm still a little nauseated and get sick occasionally, but I feel SO much better and have more energy. I feel more like myself.

I'm due December 1, and Olivia's birthday is November 30 and Mia is December 16. Honestly, if we had had a better shot at pregnancy-on-demand I might have waited a month, but my OB reassured me that quite a few people have kids clustered like that. She also assured me that terrible pregnancy *does not equal* boy. "Every pregnancy is different". Well we'll see. In December.